From: Subject: Date: April 21, 2005 3:53:51 PM CDT Hankblog: Your moment of blogging Zen

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Your moment of blogging Zen

Courtesy of Amanda at Pandagon, we see that just when you think human vanity can't sink any lower...well...from the story Amanda links to:

HEARD of sphincter bleaching? Beauticians are billing it as the new Brazilian wax.

"In the last couple of months I've had a lot of requests, so I've started some experiments," says Sydney beautician Anna Marsiano from The Bees' Knees salon.

"I've got one client who's a divorced woman with a couple of kids. She was looking at a Playboy magazine with her new boyfriend and he was making some comments about how clean and light the women looked. My client started to get a little paranoid."
Now granted this is in Australia, but how long you think it's going to take for this madness to make it to our shores? And the potential price you pay physically?

This beautician has treated sex workers and strippers for years, but says mainstream demand has risen sharply over the past six months. She acknowledges that her long-term clients (many of whom come in for treatments every six weeks) suffer serious skin problems. "I explain that it will give them eczema and so on, but they want it anyway," she says.


The good news on sphincter bleaching is that it's safer than anything involving general anaesthetics or fat-vacuuming gizmos. The bad news is that you could be in for a lifetime of skid marks. The chairwoman of the Australian Medical Association's ethics committee, Rosanna Capolingua, says the use of harsh bleaching substances could cause anal burning and scarring. This, in turn, could lead to anal incontinence or an inability to pass stools at all.

One of Amanda's comments on the matter I think sums up the absurdity nicely:

Well, I’m not going to throw a march over this (a blog post is more to scale), but I will say that my hearty feminist perspective makes it easy enough for me to say that I know when too much is too much. When you have your ass in the air and someone is scooping bleach between your cheeks, it’s too much. Call me a crazed man-hater if you like, but that humiliation is beyond anything that I’m willing to undergo.
Amanda couldn't let you just set with that image in your head though. She came back later with another post in which she links to Lauren at Feministe challenging her readers to redo the story in verse in honor of National Poetry Month. Some of the contributions in the comments:

There once was a girl from Perth
Who had a dark pucker since birth.
But one day she saw
(and this dropped her jaw)
a new way to bolster self worth.

Now, unlike the Crest strips or lasers,
Which naturally wouldn’t have phased her,
This new fad was bleach
Where the sun doesn’t reach,
so much worse than makeup or razors.
Read further in her comments if you dare. And so, for your moment of zen: asshole bleaching. What more do you need?