From: Subject: Date: April 21, 2005 3:53:51 PM CDT Hankblog: Diamonds in the rough and blemishes on the Mona Lisa Part II

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Diamonds in the rough and blemishes on the Mona Lisa Part II

Read the first part here. Then read this page off The Onion if you didn't get it all from the first half.

I think it's a fair amount easier to find a few good or even exceptional moments in bad films than it is to find truly awful ones in wonderful movies. I do think that I'm somewhat relieved that I've only seen 5 of the bad films on this list compared to 8 of the good ones. Maybe my tastes are improving :-). Rather than break out all the awful, I'll just talk about the ones I've seen.

1. Deep Blue Sea - Let's get one thing straight, this movie is all sorts of awful to the point of being campy fun. I legitimately wanted the sharks to win by the end, it was that kind of film. That said, this scene just rocks so many different ways that I'm glad The Onion crew picked it for top dog. I mean you have Sam Jackson giving the fire and brimstone speech, and then you have carnage engineered by genetically enhanced smart sharks. What's not to love?

7. What About Bob? - I saw this so long ago, I barely remember it. I don't remember there being anything redeeming about the movie in any moments though (truthfully, I recall being bored to tears). So I don't know if they're right that this moment stands out among the dreck. Have a hard time believing it does.

8. The Village - I would have had this one higher on the list. The scene is genuinely touching, even with the ham fisted dialogue Shyamalan penned for this snoozefest. Bryce Howard gave an exceptional performance, head and shoulders above most of the wreckage around her.
9. The Devil's Advocate - Keanu as a high powered attorney stretches any reasonable suspension of disbelief in a movie (even moreso than his turn as an ass kicker in The Matrix films), but Pacino chewing up the scenery at the end of this movie like a demented Pac-Man on speed was really some good trashy fun. One of the few times of late where his being so far over the top really helped more than it hurt.

11. Superman III - God I remember so loving this movie as a kid. Richard Pryor being funny (I thought then), Superman getting his shwerve on with a big busted blonde instead of that mouse Margot Kidder. Now I would shudder to watch this movie. I don't think I've seen it since I was maybe 12 or 13. I'd rather just let it dwell in the forgotten realms of lost childhood than think I was that much of a tool as a kid (feel free to unleash your smartass comments in the comments with that note).

Truthfully, the only offerings I can make on the good scene bad movie front off the top of my head comes from the debacle that was Weird Al Yankovic's sole lead acting role UHF. Most of the faux drama is painfully dull, but there were a few moments of inspired lunacy in the TV shows that Al created for his tiny TV network. I personally got a huge kick out of "Wheel of Fish" with Gedde Watanabe, and a pre Seinfeld Michael Richard's telling one kid who's won a prize on his kid's show that he gets to drink out of the fire hose. Lowbrow comedy at its finest in my opinion :-).

As always, add your own offerings in the comments.